Because I haven't had a date since caller I.D.

Okay, so I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but if you've looked at any of my recent blogs, you might have noticed a slight theme of frustration. I don't know, I was just reading them... They kinda suck.

This week was really... tedious. All week long, I felt as though I was perpetually running on fumes. I had all of this Graduate school stuff to do. OH MY GOSH! The tricky thing about Grad. school papers and applications is that they're not that tricky. THAT'S where they get you. I mean, if they're really simple, then how do you set yourself apart? -Or, I guess more importantly, how do you keep from screwing up? You have to have your current resume just so. There's the Cover letter describing your strengths and interests (aka why they should read your resume). There's the "brief statement of faith". What the heck is this? I mean, I understand and I don't really even object... but man, its me. How do they expect ME to keep a statement of my faith brief? Seriously, my first four drafts were jsut a regurgitation of the Apostles Creed. then I had to do the whole "mission Statement" thing. Yikes, its just so stressful!

Its not even that I'm just applying to Grad. School. I'm confident that between my experience, my recommendations and my grades, I'll get in. What bears more on my mind is who will be reading the application. I sometimes feel like I have this reputation. It boggles my mind how I might have gotten it. To be honest, I often feel like a fraud. Especially when I work with people like Steven Cross and Jeremy Maxwell. I work with guys like them and Eric Salas and I wonder how I could be seen as anywhere in their league and I get this strange feeling thats somewhere in between pride and guilt.

Regardless, amazing people like Dr Shushok, Elizabeth Wallace, Dave Rozeboom, Dr Offit, Chad, Andrew and countless others have invested a lot in me. I wish only to not let them down. With God's grace, I won't! These are smart people, maybe my Dad is right when he tells me they'd know better than to bet on a horse that couldn't win.

Yes, I just called myself a horse.

Its 4:24. Even I'm tired.