My own personal Mary Jane Watson...

I am a Comic book nerd.

I realize that's news to few, but I feel I should say it aloud... er type it, whatever. Y'know what? I'm going to drag my brother into this too. Bennie-hanna, you're a comic book nerd, too. (I'm imagining him raising a defiant fist, and lowering his head). (actually, strike that. If I know Ben, he'd probably just shrug)

Fight the power, Bennie. Fight the power.

I saw Spider-Man 2 for the second time with April the other day. I loved it just as much the second time as I did the first. Even if my friend couldn't stop hitting on me the entire time...

I was struck by the love story. Here we have Peter Parker. Spider-Man. He's sacrificing everything he's ever wanted because he has some kind of "Survivor's Guilt" complex and genuinely cares about people and knows he can help. Its killing him.

In comes "The Girl". Mary Jane Watson is basically the perfect woman. Incredibly intelligent, gorgeous, strong, hard-willed, confident, has a hold on her baggage, devoted to her best friend (despite himself) and she needs to be saved at least twice a movie. Oh, and she calls her man "Tiger". (My brother and I were able to realize, even in the midst of our "Kootie Insurance Sales Push", that was something we wanted a woman to do for us... then we'd have to pull her hair or something.

Spider-Man has had to save Mary Jane Watson countless times from one costumed "baddy" after another. But the ironic thing is that she is actually what has been sustaining him throughout his soul-draining hardships. The damsel saves the hero. Do you think that Dudley Do-Right ever realized that his existence was actually being continued by Nell?

And yet MJ loves and adores Peter Parker, not Spider-Man.

Its the weakling, inept nerd that catches her eye, not the muscle-bound do-gooder with snappy replies and come-backs in the midst of life-threatening battle. It was the zero in the hero that held worth for her.

Mary Jane Watson has affected my female ideal in a very real way. I know it sounds preposterous, but I'm serious as a Tumor. (I can say that, other people can't)

I've realized that there's more to a woman than how she looks or even how she makes me feel. There's real crap that needs to be discussed.

Being "elegant" is so much more important to me than being "beautiful". The former can produce the latter, but not the other way around.

I've mentioned the "Tiger" thing.

What about things like "I can't stand polish sausage or sauerkraut"? How many times have we had a girl/boyfriend that is of like mind/political views, is good looking, correct approximate height, only to have little differences that just really suck?

I'm not sure I could handle a girl who couldn't stand sauerkraut. Or my mom's Galumpke's (Stuffed Cabbage).

I like to smoke a pipe and have a Newcastle Brown Ale. I really like that. Truly one of my favorite things to do is just sit outside on a porch, sip a fine ale and puff from my Peterson Pipe that Dave got me. It'd be nice to have a girl who might sit on the swing with me. Her legs over my lap, reading a book about philosophy or something just enjoying being near each other.

Man, it'd be nice to be with someone for whom uncomfortable silences aren't.

Mary Jane is Peter's conscience. His outlet to all things good in the world. She is his partner. She knows there's nothing to two of them couldn't do, no bad-guy too bad, no problem too tall.

I want to be someone's hero. I want to be the greatest man in the world to someone. A knight in shining armor.

I want someone who, will save me by letting me save them.

But until that day comes, should it ever, I'll be content knowing my Mary Jane is out there somewhere. I can wait. It's cool. I'll just work on shining my armor.