Tonight the Brooks Hall Staff met to discuss the book, Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. In it he has a chapter about being alone. Unlike most stuff that I read, I wasn't able to rip this chapter apart, come up with 50 critical questions and digest every sentence. I was barely able to get through it. I was so completley convicted by what he had to say.
In the chapter, he talked about what it was like to be without people, and how your world can begin to implode without others.
Hell yeah. Screw Thoreau.
I'm sure Mr. Miller said some more things, but I'm not sure I got much more out of it than that. I read the words, I remember what he said... it was like being in a sound-proof booth watching someone try to tell you there's ketchup on your beard. After a while you just give up and say "I'm saving it for later".
Last summer was the hardest of my life. I feel so horrible saying it when I had so many blessings handed to me on a silver platter. But it was true. I started my internship with Campus Living & Learning about 3 days after the Residence Halls closed. For the most part, everyone in my life went home for the Summer. Everyone was gone. But it wasn't that.
I started the internship and immediately began to enjoy myself. (Especially when we got the way-cool pager, printer code, office mail box AND outer Master door keys to the men's and women's Residence Halls. Oh yeah, baby!) I began to have weekly meetings with my mentor, Frank Shushok and my supervisor, Elizabeth Wallace. I was getting so much time, experience and effort put into me. It was great. But the work was hard. I was struck from the start by how perfect everything has to be. I began to be so proud of and yet despise the words "iterative process". I'd write a letter that I thought to be perfect and show it to Elizabeth. She'd then get out her "red pen of mediocrity" and proceed to mark out entire paragraphs of the page-long letter to the CL's I had just written and then say "It's really good, Neil! Keep it up!". I'd smile and walk back to my desk in dejection trying to see my words through the blood-red gashes she had just cut into my baby. But that wasn't it.
Then there was the fact that I lived with someone who was 5 times better equiped, prepared and ready to do our internship than I was. Living with Gary taught me a lot about competition (Its not a strength I posess) and a bit about being the crappy roommate for a change. But that wasn't it.
I got knocked down about fifty notches this summer. I found out I'm not perfect. [Dum Dum Dummmmmmm!] But that's not it either.
I was just alone. I wasn't making new relationships and working on old ones. I was alone. I think the single best relationship I made this summer was with a 3 and 5 year-old girl and boy (respectively) who lived across the parking lot from me. Playing with Dani and Drew Roseboom quickly became my life raft. I pray I'll never forget the day it rained and Deena, their mother, let them play in the empty parking lot between our apartments. I heard a knock on our door. Gary looked at me and opened it to see a two soaked, knee-high Rozebooms ask in unison "Can Neil come out and playyyyyyy?".
I'll now pause for you to say "awwwwe". (Trust me, I did.) Those moments were the chocolate chips in the ice cream that was my summer. We all know it wasn't that.
This summer I think I found out what it was to be "depressed". Or at least the closest this Baylor Bear has ever come to it. I totally began to internalize everything. I imploded. I tried to take all of this time alone to settle some of my issues with my Catholocism how I should best worship God, start my book, get better at parcheesi (easy to learn, but impossible to master!), and work on some French, what I really did was use all of that as an excuse to retreat into my own mind leaving only to lash out at others. I genuinely feel as if I lost a little bit of the knowledge that there actually are other people in the universe. I would get frustrated when others didn't see my point of view.
The book put it so correctly when it described how I had begun to see my life as a great Soap Opera. The princible character being me. Everyone else was an extra or perhaps a "guest star" and their main role being to glorify my character, or if lucky, provide comic relief.
When the school year started, I hate to think of how I was. I was a jerk. I'd lord myself over others. I was antagonistic with Eric right off the bat. I would be short with Brian. I think the only people I would show the least bit of deference to would have been Chad, Andrew or Steven. And in the end, it was they who came to me out of love and knocked me upside my fat ol' head. They told me how I was acting and that they couldn't believe that it was how I had intended for my actions to be perceived.
Thank you, Jesus, for those friends who are true enough to kick the royal crap out of my ego.
I guess the biggest lesson I learned is that no matter how alone I might feel, I'm not at all. When you break it down, its so incredibly easy for us to see ourselves as being simply imprisoned inside our heads. Only the prison is more in reverse. -We can see out, but no one else can see in.
But what God wants us to realize is that it is we who have the keys to our hearts and minds. He wouldn't have given us feelings if he didn't want us to share them. Just like he wouldn't have put a second controller port the SNES if he didn't want us to occasionally go 2 player on MarioKart someday.
God is constantly putting people in our way. I guess its up to you as to whether we're going to let them in or not. So c'mon, I'll be Bowser and let you be Princess Toadstool.
Monday, March 29, 2004
Friday, March 26, 2004
The Art of the Burnt Cd...
Disclaimer: I am a law-abiding person. I would like to state once and for all, that I do not condone the illegal downloading of music. If you do so, you're a bad person. Bad Person! I feel that until one buys the cd, record, tape, whatever, of a particular artist, they do not have the right to procure their music for their own playback. That being said, once you do own said material, you own a share of that artist's song, and in essense, their soul.
I'm a jerk.
Burning a custom cd is more than just a skill. Calling it an Artform is too flippant. Rather, its a discipline requiring a combination many skills and attributes. Few people truly realize all the savvy, discipline, deftness and overall ingenuity required to make a truly good mix CD. I shall now impart with you some of the wisdom I've gleaned over my years of practice and meditation.
The Rules
#1. "The Plan"- Basically, I say you don't need one. I prefer to just "go with the flow". Genius works like that. However, the average person or novice might not want to trust the force just yet. I've seen many a CD go awry in the hands of the unprepared. I weep for these new "coasters". Bastards of the musical library.
#2. You may only use an artist once per CD. (The only exceptions are if you are making an anthology cd... which is still kind of sketchy...) I'm pretty strict about this. I don't care how great he/she is, there's no need to overload them upon the ears of the listener. If there's two songs that you can't choose between, tough. Suck it up. Don't worry, Tiger, if you do a good job on this CD, you'll undoubtably have a another chance!
#3. You must be eclectic. Think of your favorite classes. Are not they the ones in which you are constantly enjoying the ebb and flow of new experiences? Now guys, this doesn't mean having East and west coast rap. I'm talking about mixing genres. Classic rock sandwiched between some hip-hop and Frank Sinatra WORKS.
#4. Comedy. I don't care how serious the subject of the CD is, you MUST have some comic relief. Comedy can come from many different sources. You can download... heh hem, I mean "aquire" movie quotes, the theme to "strawberry shortcake", Simpsons quotes, or for the more advanced artisan, you can artificially "bring the funny" through an inside joke, juxtaposed song, etc.
#5. "The 'Oh MAN!' song". This is that certain song that is sure to remind the user of junior high. I recommend you don't play a song if you've heard it in popular media anytime in the last year. Good examples: I saw the sign- Ace of Base, Love Fool- The Cardigans, Return of the Mack, and the #1 "oh man" song is (drum-roll please) What's going on- 4 Non Blondes
#6. The "Surprise" song. This song is slightly different from the "Oh MAN!" song. This is that one part of the CD where you truly flex your eclecticity. I usually utilize Garth Brooks in this situation. Other guys might use some 2Pac. This is your chance to go out on a limb. You really need to do this. Not just for the CD, but for yourself as a person. Trust me.
#7. Spacing. Spacing is one of the most important features of the Burnt CD. This is where the "Flow" is settled. You need to make sure each song flows and works with the next.
7 a. I always recommend that you start off with a good overall song that represents the overall theme of the CD. The thesis sentence, if you will.
7 b. Equally important, but twice as tricky is the final song. The average CD craftsman might think they need a song similar to the their lead-off. Bookends. Such is not the case. The reason why is that with any good mix-CD, its going to be played on a loop. Therefore, the last song will be immediately before the first. If they're too similar, it'll hurt the "flow". However, you still want a good, strong song on there. Sometimes I'll place the strongest song on the CD in this position so as to give the listener something to shoot for. ;)
8. Naming the CD. This, I feel, is the Crown of the entire project. The Coupe' de grace. This is how your CD will be known by him or her. When the recipient of the CD is talking about how great you are to all of his/her friends, they'll most likely pull out the CD. This is a great chance to showcase your wit. So put a little extra time into it.
There you go, if you can't make a good Burnt CD by now, its most likely because you have no taste. And in which case, I absolve myself of any blame.
I do have a couple of cautions, however.
#1. Make sure you give your CD's away. They're not for you. Keeping a Burnt CD is contrary to its very essense.
#2. Be careful to avoid using "campy" songs or songs that only have one cool part gets old quickly. These songs are easily mistakable as "oh MAN!" songs but they end up being the ones that get skipped; like the "Da Da Da" song from the Volkswagon commercials. Anyone for whom I've put that song on a CD, I apologize.
Finally, I'd just like to comment on what makes Burnt CD's so great. Its about more than just providing yourself with good music. Through the compiling of a good cd, we're allowing ourselves to become modern-day Bards. The Burnt CD allows us to speak through the language of music, that one language that manages to say what can't be said. Pure emotion through the air.
Burn away, y'all. Burn away!
I'm a jerk.
Burning a custom cd is more than just a skill. Calling it an Artform is too flippant. Rather, its a discipline requiring a combination many skills and attributes. Few people truly realize all the savvy, discipline, deftness and overall ingenuity required to make a truly good mix CD. I shall now impart with you some of the wisdom I've gleaned over my years of practice and meditation.
The Rules
#1. "The Plan"- Basically, I say you don't need one. I prefer to just "go with the flow". Genius works like that. However, the average person or novice might not want to trust the force just yet. I've seen many a CD go awry in the hands of the unprepared. I weep for these new "coasters". Bastards of the musical library.
#2. You may only use an artist once per CD. (The only exceptions are if you are making an anthology cd... which is still kind of sketchy...) I'm pretty strict about this. I don't care how great he/she is, there's no need to overload them upon the ears of the listener. If there's two songs that you can't choose between, tough. Suck it up. Don't worry, Tiger, if you do a good job on this CD, you'll undoubtably have a another chance!
#3. You must be eclectic. Think of your favorite classes. Are not they the ones in which you are constantly enjoying the ebb and flow of new experiences? Now guys, this doesn't mean having East and west coast rap. I'm talking about mixing genres. Classic rock sandwiched between some hip-hop and Frank Sinatra WORKS.
#4. Comedy. I don't care how serious the subject of the CD is, you MUST have some comic relief. Comedy can come from many different sources. You can download... heh hem, I mean "aquire" movie quotes, the theme to "strawberry shortcake", Simpsons quotes, or for the more advanced artisan, you can artificially "bring the funny" through an inside joke, juxtaposed song, etc.
#5. "The 'Oh MAN!' song". This is that certain song that is sure to remind the user of junior high. I recommend you don't play a song if you've heard it in popular media anytime in the last year. Good examples: I saw the sign- Ace of Base, Love Fool- The Cardigans, Return of the Mack, and the #1 "oh man" song is (drum-roll please) What's going on- 4 Non Blondes
#6. The "Surprise" song. This song is slightly different from the "Oh MAN!" song. This is that one part of the CD where you truly flex your eclecticity. I usually utilize Garth Brooks in this situation. Other guys might use some 2Pac. This is your chance to go out on a limb. You really need to do this. Not just for the CD, but for yourself as a person. Trust me.
#7. Spacing. Spacing is one of the most important features of the Burnt CD. This is where the "Flow" is settled. You need to make sure each song flows and works with the next.
7 a. I always recommend that you start off with a good overall song that represents the overall theme of the CD. The thesis sentence, if you will.
7 b. Equally important, but twice as tricky is the final song. The average CD craftsman might think they need a song similar to the their lead-off. Bookends. Such is not the case. The reason why is that with any good mix-CD, its going to be played on a loop. Therefore, the last song will be immediately before the first. If they're too similar, it'll hurt the "flow". However, you still want a good, strong song on there. Sometimes I'll place the strongest song on the CD in this position so as to give the listener something to shoot for. ;)
8. Naming the CD. This, I feel, is the Crown of the entire project. The Coupe' de grace. This is how your CD will be known by him or her. When the recipient of the CD is talking about how great you are to all of his/her friends, they'll most likely pull out the CD. This is a great chance to showcase your wit. So put a little extra time into it.
There you go, if you can't make a good Burnt CD by now, its most likely because you have no taste. And in which case, I absolve myself of any blame.
I do have a couple of cautions, however.
#1. Make sure you give your CD's away. They're not for you. Keeping a Burnt CD is contrary to its very essense.
#2. Be careful to avoid using "campy" songs or songs that only have one cool part gets old quickly. These songs are easily mistakable as "oh MAN!" songs but they end up being the ones that get skipped; like the "Da Da Da" song from the Volkswagon commercials. Anyone for whom I've put that song on a CD, I apologize.
Finally, I'd just like to comment on what makes Burnt CD's so great. Its about more than just providing yourself with good music. Through the compiling of a good cd, we're allowing ourselves to become modern-day Bards. The Burnt CD allows us to speak through the language of music, that one language that manages to say what can't be said. Pure emotion through the air.
Burn away, y'all. Burn away!
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Mary scorns Neil, Neil questions reality...
I am a CL. A Community Leader. We're asked to think about "what it means to be a CL" at every training session. They ask us this question of us as if it they actually think we're going to be able force the ideas of annoyance, that comes with having to show up at school 1 or 2 weeks ahead of every other schmuck we're stuck in classes with has to, out of our heads. (ok, oK, OK! I actually do like it... but I'm a stooge for the man...)
But I guess I think about it.
I remember telling Dr Shushok, in a moment of self-riteousness (you're shocked, I know it) how the great things about the CL's we're hiring is that, for the most part, they don't need to be told how to be CL's. These people were singled out to become CL's because they were already, in one form or another, doing the job. I had the arrogant thought that being a CL was just going to be a continuation of me being me. The best and worst thing about arrogance is its self-corrective nature.
Whether I want to admit it or not, [sharply inhales] being a CL has changed me. I think it has changed FUNdaMENTALly in so many ways. I mean, in very basic ways.
I don't want to say that being a CL has "taught me a lot about life" because I don't really see it that way. I don't think we can really learn that much about life. I don't believe that's the way God ever really intended for us to think that way. That life is something we can learn about. That there is some way we can empirically prove anything. Its a lie that we all buy into.
Its like in the Matrix movies. I there were a lot of things that a lot of people found absurd about those flicks, but the one thing I couldn't get my mind around was the fricken screens. Y'all know what I'm talking about, the ones where the dude with the headset is able to decode the matrix by looking at the screens. That's ludicris to me that they can process that much information through just some cool-looking icons falling down a screen. Now, I always get annoyed with people who rip movies apart like that (cough-cough Andrew Telep cough-cough Brian Rowe), however, that did weird me out. What I mean by that is there is just so much going on in the world. When I think about all the things I've learned, I'm impressed. However, when I think about all the things I've forgotten or just let go through one ear and out the other... I'm floored. But I digress...
Back to the point, I don't think that life is really something we can learn. -or if it is, anything we learn is incredibly insignificant, like forgetting to read the book for the book test we're about to take until 5 minutes before we take said test. Reading the first page isn't going to help you. -Much like assuming that there are things we can know about life.
We're looking at it all the wrong way. Our brains aren't computers storing information, reading the variables and making decisions. I think its closer to being a lens through which we see the world. Every piece of information we process puts another chip in our lens, affecting how we perceive our world.
I imagine this idea isn't really all that new. Theories of ethnocentricity and such have been around for a while. I'm just trying desperately to make sense of how I see things. So while being a CL hasn't taught me that much about life, it sure has chipped the hell away at that lens.
But I guess I think about it.
I remember telling Dr Shushok, in a moment of self-riteousness (you're shocked, I know it) how the great things about the CL's we're hiring is that, for the most part, they don't need to be told how to be CL's. These people were singled out to become CL's because they were already, in one form or another, doing the job. I had the arrogant thought that being a CL was just going to be a continuation of me being me. The best and worst thing about arrogance is its self-corrective nature.
Whether I want to admit it or not, [sharply inhales] being a CL has changed me. I think it has changed FUNdaMENTALly in so many ways. I mean, in very basic ways.
I don't want to say that being a CL has "taught me a lot about life" because I don't really see it that way. I don't think we can really learn that much about life. I don't believe that's the way God ever really intended for us to think that way. That life is something we can learn about. That there is some way we can empirically prove anything. Its a lie that we all buy into.
Its like in the Matrix movies. I there were a lot of things that a lot of people found absurd about those flicks, but the one thing I couldn't get my mind around was the fricken screens. Y'all know what I'm talking about, the ones where the dude with the headset is able to decode the matrix by looking at the screens. That's ludicris to me that they can process that much information through just some cool-looking icons falling down a screen. Now, I always get annoyed with people who rip movies apart like that (cough-cough Andrew Telep cough-cough Brian Rowe), however, that did weird me out. What I mean by that is there is just so much going on in the world. When I think about all the things I've learned, I'm impressed. However, when I think about all the things I've forgotten or just let go through one ear and out the other... I'm floored. But I digress...
Back to the point, I don't think that life is really something we can learn. -or if it is, anything we learn is incredibly insignificant, like forgetting to read the book for the book test we're about to take until 5 minutes before we take said test. Reading the first page isn't going to help you. -Much like assuming that there are things we can know about life.
We're looking at it all the wrong way. Our brains aren't computers storing information, reading the variables and making decisions. I think its closer to being a lens through which we see the world. Every piece of information we process puts another chip in our lens, affecting how we perceive our world.
I imagine this idea isn't really all that new. Theories of ethnocentricity and such have been around for a while. I'm just trying desperately to make sense of how I see things. So while being a CL hasn't taught me that much about life, it sure has chipped the hell away at that lens.
Monday, March 22, 2004
My girl, talkin' bout my girl...
I love slumber parties. Yeah, okay, so guys aren't supposed to call them "slumber parties", we're not even supposed to call them "sleep-overs". It's just "hey man, can I crash (or insert destructive verb of choice) at your place?".
Anyways, I love how, even with guys, or at least with virgin guys, okay, at least with this virgin guy, when you're lying on the floor or cot/couch across the room from your roomie staring at the ceiling in the darkness how the subject always turns to women. If I'm seeing someone or wanting to see someone, we'll talk about them. Or, as has been the case lately, if I'm not really interested in someone or at don't think you are, I'll begin to wonder about what kind of woman I will end up with.
Its like I told Mary the other day. I'm pretty sure God could materialize a woman in front of me, strap a couple of stone tablets around her neck with a note written on them saying "Neil... Golemo... yeah you, this is the woman I've created for you to love, marry and support for the rest of your life" and I'm not really sure I could visualize it.
For someone who's always been so in love with the idea of being in love, this really bothers me. I think I've wanted to get married and have tons of babies since, well, I guess the day I realized I might not ever be able to. So I guess I've been thinking about it for almost 17 years. Holy crap, that's kind of pathetic, no? Forget you, I'm a hopeless romantic. My mom says I'm a catch.
So anyways, what do I want in a woman?
She's got to be patient. I'm weird. I know I have my quirks. Patience would go a long way with dealing with me. I'm absolutely serious when I put this first on my list. I admire the patient. Sure, we all laugh at the easily excitable, but we depend on the patient to give us chance after chance to do things right.
She must be secure in herself.
She has to be intelligent. I'm not saying I'm a literary dynamo or anything, but I'm not sure anything turns me on more than being able to have a good conversation with a girl... well okay there are a lot of things that turn me on. But seriously, intelligence is up there. I'm a fan of the witty reparte. I'm almost positive I'm going to end up with a girl not just slightly smarter than me... but way smarter.
I'm pretty sure she'll be a Christian. Why is this one so far down the list you may ask? Well, I guess any woman who has the previous mentioned qualities will undoubtably know Jesus is Lord. ;) (jk, Charlotte! I love you very much!)
I'm a leg guy, but not a big breast man. I'm a fan of dark hair but its usually the eyes that get me.
Default look needs to be a smile. I'm pretty definite on this one.
Has to want kids... eventually.
Doesn't mind driving. Takes ME out on dates... but stops short of burning bras.
Understands my Catholic roots.
My family has to like her.
She needs to find me funny. I know this is kind of shallow, but I love to laugh and make others do so.
Mel Brooks movies.
Can I say "patience" again?
She'll have eclectic tastes. Or at least be able to put up with mine. (I guess that goes back with patience). Something tells me she's not going to be a big fan of my renewed love for Comic Books, but she'll probably be able to put up with my rambling on about how Spider-Man could totally kick the Hulk's arse. C'mon, man, do the words Spider-Sense mean anything to you!??!
She will absolutely lay into me from time to time. I need someone I can trust to let me know when i screw up becaus I know exactly how oblivious I can be.
Likes 80's music.
Pinches me in the butt at really opportune moments just to see me blush.
I'm sorry, but she absolutely has to love my two best friends Jason and Greg. She doesn't have to like them, (I don't half the time), but love.... they're that important to me.
She will be brave. I have no idea what is going to happen in my life. I know I want to follow God, but after that, its pretty much up in the air. Now, anyone who knows me will know that I'm basically a boring person. But I have to do what I feel the Lord wants for me. Its led me to Texas, and I'm a fan of that!
Karaoke
I don't care if she is a Cubs fan or not, but she simply has to understand that our Neilietta and Neil Jr. will be.
She will know that she loves God more than she could ever love me.
Baseball Caps are hot. Especially the blue ones with a big ol red "C" in the middle.
These are things I can imagine, but you know what? I can't say that she'll have all or any of these traits. I mean, I think I know what I think I want... (I'm going to let that statement speak for itself).
I'm not confident I can say I know much about the woman that I'm going to marry other than that I will love her with all of my heart. Its the only way I know how. I have my parents to thank because they're the only model I've ever had. She's going to be the best friend I've ever known.
I can't say much for sure. I'll watch Casablanca later tonight and want to add something stupid like "she's got to look good in black and white". Who knows?
But it IS fun to think about. ;)
Anyways, I love how, even with guys, or at least with virgin guys, okay, at least with this virgin guy, when you're lying on the floor or cot/couch across the room from your roomie staring at the ceiling in the darkness how the subject always turns to women. If I'm seeing someone or wanting to see someone, we'll talk about them. Or, as has been the case lately, if I'm not really interested in someone or at don't think you are, I'll begin to wonder about what kind of woman I will end up with.
Its like I told Mary the other day. I'm pretty sure God could materialize a woman in front of me, strap a couple of stone tablets around her neck with a note written on them saying "Neil... Golemo... yeah you, this is the woman I've created for you to love, marry and support for the rest of your life" and I'm not really sure I could visualize it.
For someone who's always been so in love with the idea of being in love, this really bothers me. I think I've wanted to get married and have tons of babies since, well, I guess the day I realized I might not ever be able to. So I guess I've been thinking about it for almost 17 years. Holy crap, that's kind of pathetic, no? Forget you, I'm a hopeless romantic. My mom says I'm a catch.
So anyways, what do I want in a woman?
She's got to be patient. I'm weird. I know I have my quirks. Patience would go a long way with dealing with me. I'm absolutely serious when I put this first on my list. I admire the patient. Sure, we all laugh at the easily excitable, but we depend on the patient to give us chance after chance to do things right.
She must be secure in herself.
She has to be intelligent. I'm not saying I'm a literary dynamo or anything, but I'm not sure anything turns me on more than being able to have a good conversation with a girl... well okay there are a lot of things that turn me on. But seriously, intelligence is up there. I'm a fan of the witty reparte. I'm almost positive I'm going to end up with a girl not just slightly smarter than me... but way smarter.
I'm pretty sure she'll be a Christian. Why is this one so far down the list you may ask? Well, I guess any woman who has the previous mentioned qualities will undoubtably know Jesus is Lord. ;) (jk, Charlotte! I love you very much!)
I'm a leg guy, but not a big breast man. I'm a fan of dark hair but its usually the eyes that get me.
Default look needs to be a smile. I'm pretty definite on this one.
Has to want kids... eventually.
Doesn't mind driving. Takes ME out on dates... but stops short of burning bras.
Understands my Catholic roots.
My family has to like her.
She needs to find me funny. I know this is kind of shallow, but I love to laugh and make others do so.
Mel Brooks movies.
Can I say "patience" again?
She'll have eclectic tastes. Or at least be able to put up with mine. (I guess that goes back with patience). Something tells me she's not going to be a big fan of my renewed love for Comic Books, but she'll probably be able to put up with my rambling on about how Spider-Man could totally kick the Hulk's arse. C'mon, man, do the words Spider-Sense mean anything to you!??!
She will absolutely lay into me from time to time. I need someone I can trust to let me know when i screw up becaus I know exactly how oblivious I can be.
Likes 80's music.
Pinches me in the butt at really opportune moments just to see me blush.
I'm sorry, but she absolutely has to love my two best friends Jason and Greg. She doesn't have to like them, (I don't half the time), but love.... they're that important to me.
She will be brave. I have no idea what is going to happen in my life. I know I want to follow God, but after that, its pretty much up in the air. Now, anyone who knows me will know that I'm basically a boring person. But I have to do what I feel the Lord wants for me. Its led me to Texas, and I'm a fan of that!
Karaoke
I don't care if she is a Cubs fan or not, but she simply has to understand that our Neilietta and Neil Jr. will be.
She will know that she loves God more than she could ever love me.
Baseball Caps are hot. Especially the blue ones with a big ol red "C" in the middle.
These are things I can imagine, but you know what? I can't say that she'll have all or any of these traits. I mean, I think I know what I think I want... (I'm going to let that statement speak for itself).
I'm not confident I can say I know much about the woman that I'm going to marry other than that I will love her with all of my heart. Its the only way I know how. I have my parents to thank because they're the only model I've ever had. She's going to be the best friend I've ever known.
I can't say much for sure. I'll watch Casablanca later tonight and want to add something stupid like "she's got to look good in black and white". Who knows?
But it IS fun to think about. ;)
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Newton was a jerk
I am Newton's first law.
"An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends to stay at rest unless the object is acted upon by an outside force."
I am, [sigh] an object at rest. I am a rock. I am an island. (Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits was the first cd I ever bought with my own money) After four years of academic sedimentality, it appears I am only now just reaping what I've spent three and a half years sowing.
My brain is an anemony upon the back of a sea crab, gleaning what particles of academia seem to drift past my stubby tenticles as I amble my way from class to class, day to day.
No force can move me from my post. I am doomed to rest upon my perch and scream my thoughts to any who might hear.
I am Newton's first law. And french class really sucks.
adieu, mes amis. adieu!
"An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends to stay at rest unless the object is acted upon by an outside force."
I am, [sigh] an object at rest. I am a rock. I am an island. (Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits was the first cd I ever bought with my own money) After four years of academic sedimentality, it appears I am only now just reaping what I've spent three and a half years sowing.
My brain is an anemony upon the back of a sea crab, gleaning what particles of academia seem to drift past my stubby tenticles as I amble my way from class to class, day to day.
No force can move me from my post. I am doomed to rest upon my perch and scream my thoughts to any who might hear.
I am Newton's first law. And french class really sucks.
adieu, mes amis. adieu!
Sunday, March 07, 2004
I'm a Christian... I'm Sorry.
So there's this book I'm reading. It's called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. In it, there is one chapter where he talks about "confession". He totally didn't go in a direction I thought he would. His story goes like this:
He's attending the auspicious Reed College, a school reknown for its "progressive" thinking. He and a few Christian friends have been forced into a nearly underground status because of what I could only describe as an "antagonistic" attitude held by the vast majority of the student body towards Christians. Basically, they were seen as naive, small/weak minded and conservative or at least, -gasp- republican. One very telling sign of the negative sentiments held towards the Christians on campus is illustrated by what happened when they announced they had opened a prayer room in a corner of one of the libraries on campus. After they left the prayer room, their fellow students proceeded to have a drunken-drug orgy complete with the sacrificing of (what I think I remember was) a stuffed animal lamb on the very same collection of carpet squares their Christian colleagues had prayed on just hours earlier. Not exactly a note of affirmation.
I guess, even the super-intellectual, cultural elite like to celebrate. So how else would they choose to get down but a hedonistic, drug-infused, semi-pagan festival!?!?! Well, the Christians were talking about what was going to be going on with the upcoming festival. One of them quipped: "we should put up a Confession booth". They thought "Genius!"
So they decided to build a Confession Booth for all of the hippies hyped up on drugs running naked upon their campus grounds. Only there was a twist. Instead of the hippies being asked to confess their sins, they would be asked to listen to the Christians in the tents (in monk gear) confess their sins. And not only their sins but the sins of all Christianity. Crusades, trampling beliefs of others, murders, rapes, sodomizers, travesties done in the name of God, clinics bombed, people judged, all these things.
I thought this was pretty darn awesome.
Later in the book, the author goes on to talk about how Christians love to use the metaphor of "war" to describe the struggle against what is going on in the world.
"They would talk about how we are in a battle, and I agreed with them, only they wouldn't clarify that we were battling poverty and hate and injustice and pride and the powers of darkness. They left us thinking that our war was against liberals and homosexuals.... Jesus taught that we are all bad and He is good.... God wants us to think of them as more important than ourselves." (Blue Like Jazz, p.132)
It was kind of eye-opening to me to realize that I might someday need to apologize for the sins of my fellow Christians. Anyone can take responsibility for the sins they, themselves, have committed. But I submit to you all that it takes a true member of the Body of Christ to take responsibility for the sins committed by a fellow member of Christ's church.
I want to be clear about what I'm saying here. I'm not saying that we should just apologize for the sins of those who have embarrassed us in the same way a blushing mother would to the other people in the supermarket when her two year-old is throwing a hissy fit in the middle of the candy aisle. I'm talking about OWNING the crimes of those perpetrated by our brothers and sisters in Christ. At some point we have to sac up and decide whether or not we're going to be part of the Body or not.
Nearly as importantly, we need to talk about what we, as Christians are fighting. Are we fighting each other? I'm not saying that we should "all get along, all the time'. Forget that. I'd never insult your intelligence by even propositioning it is possible. What's more, I'd never stifle the learning that can take place when different minds, perspectives and world views meet to discuss the wonder of our God. Besides, I'm just too contrary to exist in such a world.
I fear more and more, that we, as a church are becoming more and more like the Pharisees. Fat, comfortable, complacent and self-ritious. Jesus spoke constantly of how the Lord's people had lost sight of what was important. Again and again, the disciples would start to argue some point amongst themselves only to be corrected and put back on course by Jesus when he reminds them to keep their eyes on the prize, the well-being of their fellow children of God.
I'm just afraid that with all of the in-fighting that's happening between the Catholics, the Methodists, the Baptists who agree with the SBC, and those that don't, the SDA's, and even [cringe] the Church of Latter Day Saints, we are only acting like dogs fighting each other over a steak only to have it taken up to the trees by the crows.
Maybe I'm idealistic, maybe I'm just confused, maybe I've only had 4 hours of sleep. But I think we need to worry more about becoming one body of Christ. We don't have to always agree with what the right hand is doing, quite the contrary. I think we have a duty to speak speak up in those cases, but not at the cost of hurting the Body.
We're family. It's like my mom always says: "I didn't have a family to make friends." But no one would ever be able to accuse my mother of showing a family member anything short of unconditional love. She's my hero like that. Horrible fashion sense and all.
As I said, we need to make a decision whether or not we're going to be part of the Body. As with any family, you're going to have to accept the good with the bad, and at times, the bad with the worse. What's it going to be?
He's attending the auspicious Reed College, a school reknown for its "progressive" thinking. He and a few Christian friends have been forced into a nearly underground status because of what I could only describe as an "antagonistic" attitude held by the vast majority of the student body towards Christians. Basically, they were seen as naive, small/weak minded and conservative or at least, -gasp- republican. One very telling sign of the negative sentiments held towards the Christians on campus is illustrated by what happened when they announced they had opened a prayer room in a corner of one of the libraries on campus. After they left the prayer room, their fellow students proceeded to have a drunken-drug orgy complete with the sacrificing of (what I think I remember was) a stuffed animal lamb on the very same collection of carpet squares their Christian colleagues had prayed on just hours earlier. Not exactly a note of affirmation.
I guess, even the super-intellectual, cultural elite like to celebrate. So how else would they choose to get down but a hedonistic, drug-infused, semi-pagan festival!?!?! Well, the Christians were talking about what was going to be going on with the upcoming festival. One of them quipped: "we should put up a Confession booth". They thought "Genius!"
So they decided to build a Confession Booth for all of the hippies hyped up on drugs running naked upon their campus grounds. Only there was a twist. Instead of the hippies being asked to confess their sins, they would be asked to listen to the Christians in the tents (in monk gear) confess their sins. And not only their sins but the sins of all Christianity. Crusades, trampling beliefs of others, murders, rapes, sodomizers, travesties done in the name of God, clinics bombed, people judged, all these things.
I thought this was pretty darn awesome.
Later in the book, the author goes on to talk about how Christians love to use the metaphor of "war" to describe the struggle against what is going on in the world.
"They would talk about how we are in a battle, and I agreed with them, only they wouldn't clarify that we were battling poverty and hate and injustice and pride and the powers of darkness. They left us thinking that our war was against liberals and homosexuals.... Jesus taught that we are all bad and He is good.... God wants us to think of them as more important than ourselves." (Blue Like Jazz, p.132)
It was kind of eye-opening to me to realize that I might someday need to apologize for the sins of my fellow Christians. Anyone can take responsibility for the sins they, themselves, have committed. But I submit to you all that it takes a true member of the Body of Christ to take responsibility for the sins committed by a fellow member of Christ's church.
I want to be clear about what I'm saying here. I'm not saying that we should just apologize for the sins of those who have embarrassed us in the same way a blushing mother would to the other people in the supermarket when her two year-old is throwing a hissy fit in the middle of the candy aisle. I'm talking about OWNING the crimes of those perpetrated by our brothers and sisters in Christ. At some point we have to sac up and decide whether or not we're going to be part of the Body or not.
Nearly as importantly, we need to talk about what we, as Christians are fighting. Are we fighting each other? I'm not saying that we should "all get along, all the time'. Forget that. I'd never insult your intelligence by even propositioning it is possible. What's more, I'd never stifle the learning that can take place when different minds, perspectives and world views meet to discuss the wonder of our God. Besides, I'm just too contrary to exist in such a world.
I fear more and more, that we, as a church are becoming more and more like the Pharisees. Fat, comfortable, complacent and self-ritious. Jesus spoke constantly of how the Lord's people had lost sight of what was important. Again and again, the disciples would start to argue some point amongst themselves only to be corrected and put back on course by Jesus when he reminds them to keep their eyes on the prize, the well-being of their fellow children of God.
I'm just afraid that with all of the in-fighting that's happening between the Catholics, the Methodists, the Baptists who agree with the SBC, and those that don't, the SDA's, and even [cringe] the Church of Latter Day Saints, we are only acting like dogs fighting each other over a steak only to have it taken up to the trees by the crows.
Maybe I'm idealistic, maybe I'm just confused, maybe I've only had 4 hours of sleep. But I think we need to worry more about becoming one body of Christ. We don't have to always agree with what the right hand is doing, quite the contrary. I think we have a duty to speak speak up in those cases, but not at the cost of hurting the Body.
We're family. It's like my mom always says: "I didn't have a family to make friends." But no one would ever be able to accuse my mother of showing a family member anything short of unconditional love. She's my hero like that. Horrible fashion sense and all.
As I said, we need to make a decision whether or not we're going to be part of the Body. As with any family, you're going to have to accept the good with the bad, and at times, the bad with the worse. What's it going to be?
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Giving the gift
Last night, I had my feelings hurt.
It wasn't a malicious comment. That person didn't aim to hurt me, but they did. This comment, if made by 95% of the other people that make up my social world, probably wouldn't have elicited much more than a smile or a stuck out tongue. But for some reason, when they said it, it hurt me.
I've been trying to figure out why this person always gets to me. I mean, my feelings for them have taken a few different directions through the course of "us". [by "us" I purely mean the relationship. Please ignore the romantic connotation that comes with the word "relationship".] But, through it all, this person's expressed sentiments toward me has almost always held a place of special importance. Why?
I think, while lying awake staring at the poster of God reaching for Adam from Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel I have on the ceiling above my bed, (Wal-mart was fresh out of mirrors, I guess.) I realized it was because I had made myself vulnerable to this person. Yeah, I know that's deep. But its been a while since my feelings for this person has changed, why is it that I'm still deeply affected by this person's attitude towards me? In a world full of people's who's opinions I care very little about, why is it this person's holds such vital importance to me?
I think its because the gift of vulnerability is not one you can take back. Once you let down that wall, its really hard to replace it. I can remember the first time a girl hurt me. I don't want to mention names cough-Hayley Dowdall in 2nd grade dumps me for Eddie Balmer-cough cough, but to this day, that hurts. I know its stupid, but it does. I saw Haley Dowdall over break too, she told me I looked good, (great liar, that Haley) I remember being genuinely touched. I think I even blushed.
Okay, so now that I've discovered the issue. -That this is a gift we can't un-give. Where do I go from here? This freaking sucks. I start to wonder if I should maybe be more careful with whom I entrust this gift to. Maybe I should "guard my heart" more...
Then, all of a sudden I get pissed. Fuck that.
I hate it when people say you should "guard your heart", screw that. I mean, yes, its the smart thing to do, but its not how I want to live. I need to love first and ask questions later. I have to love all-out, balls to the wall. I'm not saying I'm a psycho stalker or anything ( ;) murph!). But you know what I mean. I want to be completely authentic with people, and that means you have to knock down your own walls. Can't get trust unless you give it, my friends.
Does this mean I'm going to get hurt a lot? Absolutely. But I don't know, I guess even when you get hurt, its in a good way. I mean, if I hurt, it can only be because, before, I felt really good. Maybe I should just be thankful for the contrast. I don't know. I just have to believe in people because I really need people to believe in me. I have to believe that if I buy the world a coke, in one way or another, I'll be a better person for it. Right?
I'd rather trust in people. When it comes down to making the choice between guarding my heart from being hurt and possibly missing out on something great, or even good, to me, there's no choice. I'll just trust the Lord to heal my heart.
Does this seem like a life full of drama? I think accepting it is simpler than wandring the world wondering whom I can trust and whom I can't.
So bring the pain.
It wasn't a malicious comment. That person didn't aim to hurt me, but they did. This comment, if made by 95% of the other people that make up my social world, probably wouldn't have elicited much more than a smile or a stuck out tongue. But for some reason, when they said it, it hurt me.
I've been trying to figure out why this person always gets to me. I mean, my feelings for them have taken a few different directions through the course of "us". [by "us" I purely mean the relationship. Please ignore the romantic connotation that comes with the word "relationship".] But, through it all, this person's expressed sentiments toward me has almost always held a place of special importance. Why?
I think, while lying awake staring at the poster of God reaching for Adam from Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel I have on the ceiling above my bed, (Wal-mart was fresh out of mirrors, I guess.) I realized it was because I had made myself vulnerable to this person. Yeah, I know that's deep. But its been a while since my feelings for this person has changed, why is it that I'm still deeply affected by this person's attitude towards me? In a world full of people's who's opinions I care very little about, why is it this person's holds such vital importance to me?
I think its because the gift of vulnerability is not one you can take back. Once you let down that wall, its really hard to replace it. I can remember the first time a girl hurt me. I don't want to mention names cough-Hayley Dowdall in 2nd grade dumps me for Eddie Balmer-cough cough, but to this day, that hurts. I know its stupid, but it does. I saw Haley Dowdall over break too, she told me I looked good, (great liar, that Haley) I remember being genuinely touched. I think I even blushed.
Okay, so now that I've discovered the issue. -That this is a gift we can't un-give. Where do I go from here? This freaking sucks. I start to wonder if I should maybe be more careful with whom I entrust this gift to. Maybe I should "guard my heart" more...
Then, all of a sudden I get pissed. Fuck that.
I hate it when people say you should "guard your heart", screw that. I mean, yes, its the smart thing to do, but its not how I want to live. I need to love first and ask questions later. I have to love all-out, balls to the wall. I'm not saying I'm a psycho stalker or anything ( ;) murph!). But you know what I mean. I want to be completely authentic with people, and that means you have to knock down your own walls. Can't get trust unless you give it, my friends.
Does this mean I'm going to get hurt a lot? Absolutely. But I don't know, I guess even when you get hurt, its in a good way. I mean, if I hurt, it can only be because, before, I felt really good. Maybe I should just be thankful for the contrast. I don't know. I just have to believe in people because I really need people to believe in me. I have to believe that if I buy the world a coke, in one way or another, I'll be a better person for it. Right?
I'd rather trust in people. When it comes down to making the choice between guarding my heart from being hurt and possibly missing out on something great, or even good, to me, there's no choice. I'll just trust the Lord to heal my heart.
Does this seem like a life full of drama? I think accepting it is simpler than wandring the world wondering whom I can trust and whom I can't.
So bring the pain.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Marriage in America
On Friday, the Baylor Lariat, our not-so-auspicious student newspaper, published an editorial stating that the City of San Francisco should appeal the ruling of the court that gay marriages are unconstitutional.
here's the link:
if that doesn't' work, cut and paste this bad boy: http://www.baylorlariat.com/archive.cfm?file=http://www.baylorlariat.com/archives/2004/20040227/022704a.html
Hilarity ensues on Monday morning as President Sloan issues a statement upon the second page of the Lariat officially censuring the Lariat Editorial Staff for their opinion. To be honest, that didn't bother me in the least. This is a Baptist University, they have the right to control how University resources, in this case, the Lariat, are used insofar as they have to agree with the basic Christian tenants that dictate the world view of this University. As far as I'm concerned, that's all kosher, baby. I might not agree with the way the censuring was done, but then again I'm definitely not the President of this University (yet) and I most definitely don't understand all pressures and burdens laying therein. Bobby Sloan, if you're reading this, we're square.
My beef is with my fellow Christians. Or rather, not with them so much as their rhetoric. For a few choice examples, I gladly refer you to March 2nd's "Lariat letters to the Editor" page: http://www3.baylor.edu/Lariat/
I'm sick of everyone talking about how allowing for Gay Marriage will "desecrate the meaning of marriage." I'm sorry, but I don't think there's a whole lot more this country can do to desecrate marriage than it already has. I mean, lets look at this.
50% of all marriages end in divorce. What the hell?!?! For some reason, I'm not thinking that people are taking the "for better or worse, tile death do us part" vow too seriously.
The fastest growing field of law is family and marriage arbitration. That, my friends, is a fact. It sickens me. As much money is being made off of alimony/divorce payments than most of our nations professional sports programs... Combined.
But hey, lets keep talking about keeping the sanctity of marriage.
Here's what I say. I say that the word "marriage" be taken completely out of any federal and state laws and replaced with "civil unions." I don't think that a Gay couple should be allowed to get "married", but I have absolutely no problem with a "civil union". I mean, C'mon, they already enjoy many of the privileges. They can live together, laws against sodomy have been ruled unconstitutional. They can raise adopted children. And, to be honest, I don't mind that. Many children in America need good homes, I'm glad there are people willing to open their doors. But as long as they're enjoying the priviledges, why not let them enjoy some of the responsibilities as well?
Another point I'd like to add in support of the word "marriage" being taken out of any laws is that I think that "marriage" is a religious term. I don't think a wedding ceremony that can take place inside a courthouse, devoid of a priest or pastor should get the label of "marriage", but currently they do.
I truly do believe that the words "marriage" and "wedding" are becoming more and more secularized by the day. While looking through the wedding stuff at Hallmark's, (yes, I do look at that stuff... sometimes) I noticed that the white that brides wear on their wedding days no longer stand for "purity" but now for "joy". I was in disbelief until I saw the television show "for better or worse" where the couple's families handle the arrangements in return for a free wedding and one of the jerk designers echoed Hallmark's statement on what white "meant" when he suggested a peach wedding dress.
Yet another point I'd like to delineate would be why do Christians have such a vested interest in all of this? I mean, its not like any gay couples are going to be married in any of our churches as a result of the legalization of same sex civil unions. I don't understand why this has to offend us. Especially if they're not designated as marriage, but Civil Unions.
Besides, from a Christian tolerance stand point, I'm sorry, but I think its something that we, as Christians are going to have to start dealing with as a reality of life. We live in a country that chooses to grant equality to all, regardless of sex, creed or race. Stuff like this just comes with the territory. Opposing these civil unions... I'm just not sure that Jesus would have made such a ruckus over it. I heard one lady talk about how "Sins of gay couples shouldn't be tolerated". Are you kidding me? Toleration is the least we should do! This poor woman quoted the part of scripture where Jesus said to the woman after saving her from stoning, "to go forth, and sin no more". But if this woman did sin again, would Jesus had said "y'know what? I gave you one chance... tough."? Absolutely not. I think a more relevant piece of scripture would be that of the prodigal son. The father knew that what the son wanted was dumb. He knew it was stupid. But sometimes you need to let people do stupid things. Its okay as long as you hope and pray for them and wait with open arms for them to come home.
Finally, I'd just like to reiterate that the lack of civil unions has done nothing to curb the amounts of homosexuals living together. I mean, its not like there are a whole lot of people out there saying "hmm, I think I'd like to be gay and be hated by half of the nation, but y'know, same-sex civil unions are illegal, so I think I better just stick to dating chicks." Also, as it is right now, two gay people living together without a civil union have none of the responsibilities that would come with a civil union. If they have a child together, and one of them leaves, can one of them be legally held liable for child support? What if they don't have a child, what about alimony?
In conclusion, I'm not sure of what is going to happen to the terms "marriage" or "civil unions". To be honest, I'm fricken sick of the terms. However, my/our being sick of them is not going to solve the problem. I'm praying for the country, state and world right now, as I always have and will. I just leave you with the following question, which I want you to answer honestly unto yourself.
Which do you think made God more/less sick? The two Gay women from Wisconsin who have lived together for 43 years, ran a foster home for abused children and drove all the way to San Francisco to get married? Or Anna Nicole Smith marrying the 80-something year-old man for his money? One was legal, one was not.
here's the link:
if that doesn't' work, cut and paste this bad boy: http://www.baylorlariat.com/archive.cfm?file=http://www.baylorlariat.com/archives/2004/20040227/022704a.html
Hilarity ensues on Monday morning as President Sloan issues a statement upon the second page of the Lariat officially censuring the Lariat Editorial Staff for their opinion. To be honest, that didn't bother me in the least. This is a Baptist University, they have the right to control how University resources, in this case, the Lariat, are used insofar as they have to agree with the basic Christian tenants that dictate the world view of this University. As far as I'm concerned, that's all kosher, baby. I might not agree with the way the censuring was done, but then again I'm definitely not the President of this University (yet) and I most definitely don't understand all pressures and burdens laying therein. Bobby Sloan, if you're reading this, we're square.
My beef is with my fellow Christians. Or rather, not with them so much as their rhetoric. For a few choice examples, I gladly refer you to March 2nd's "Lariat letters to the Editor" page: http://www3.baylor.edu/Lariat/
I'm sick of everyone talking about how allowing for Gay Marriage will "desecrate the meaning of marriage." I'm sorry, but I don't think there's a whole lot more this country can do to desecrate marriage than it already has. I mean, lets look at this.
50% of all marriages end in divorce. What the hell?!?! For some reason, I'm not thinking that people are taking the "for better or worse, tile death do us part" vow too seriously.
The fastest growing field of law is family and marriage arbitration. That, my friends, is a fact. It sickens me. As much money is being made off of alimony/divorce payments than most of our nations professional sports programs... Combined.
But hey, lets keep talking about keeping the sanctity of marriage.
Here's what I say. I say that the word "marriage" be taken completely out of any federal and state laws and replaced with "civil unions." I don't think that a Gay couple should be allowed to get "married", but I have absolutely no problem with a "civil union". I mean, C'mon, they already enjoy many of the privileges. They can live together, laws against sodomy have been ruled unconstitutional. They can raise adopted children. And, to be honest, I don't mind that. Many children in America need good homes, I'm glad there are people willing to open their doors. But as long as they're enjoying the priviledges, why not let them enjoy some of the responsibilities as well?
Another point I'd like to add in support of the word "marriage" being taken out of any laws is that I think that "marriage" is a religious term. I don't think a wedding ceremony that can take place inside a courthouse, devoid of a priest or pastor should get the label of "marriage", but currently they do.
I truly do believe that the words "marriage" and "wedding" are becoming more and more secularized by the day. While looking through the wedding stuff at Hallmark's, (yes, I do look at that stuff... sometimes) I noticed that the white that brides wear on their wedding days no longer stand for "purity" but now for "joy". I was in disbelief until I saw the television show "for better or worse" where the couple's families handle the arrangements in return for a free wedding and one of the jerk designers echoed Hallmark's statement on what white "meant" when he suggested a peach wedding dress.
Yet another point I'd like to delineate would be why do Christians have such a vested interest in all of this? I mean, its not like any gay couples are going to be married in any of our churches as a result of the legalization of same sex civil unions. I don't understand why this has to offend us. Especially if they're not designated as marriage, but Civil Unions.
Besides, from a Christian tolerance stand point, I'm sorry, but I think its something that we, as Christians are going to have to start dealing with as a reality of life. We live in a country that chooses to grant equality to all, regardless of sex, creed or race. Stuff like this just comes with the territory. Opposing these civil unions... I'm just not sure that Jesus would have made such a ruckus over it. I heard one lady talk about how "Sins of gay couples shouldn't be tolerated". Are you kidding me? Toleration is the least we should do! This poor woman quoted the part of scripture where Jesus said to the woman after saving her from stoning, "to go forth, and sin no more". But if this woman did sin again, would Jesus had said "y'know what? I gave you one chance... tough."? Absolutely not. I think a more relevant piece of scripture would be that of the prodigal son. The father knew that what the son wanted was dumb. He knew it was stupid. But sometimes you need to let people do stupid things. Its okay as long as you hope and pray for them and wait with open arms for them to come home.
Finally, I'd just like to reiterate that the lack of civil unions has done nothing to curb the amounts of homosexuals living together. I mean, its not like there are a whole lot of people out there saying "hmm, I think I'd like to be gay and be hated by half of the nation, but y'know, same-sex civil unions are illegal, so I think I better just stick to dating chicks." Also, as it is right now, two gay people living together without a civil union have none of the responsibilities that would come with a civil union. If they have a child together, and one of them leaves, can one of them be legally held liable for child support? What if they don't have a child, what about alimony?
In conclusion, I'm not sure of what is going to happen to the terms "marriage" or "civil unions". To be honest, I'm fricken sick of the terms. However, my/our being sick of them is not going to solve the problem. I'm praying for the country, state and world right now, as I always have and will. I just leave you with the following question, which I want you to answer honestly unto yourself.
Which do you think made God more/less sick? The two Gay women from Wisconsin who have lived together for 43 years, ran a foster home for abused children and drove all the way to San Francisco to get married? Or Anna Nicole Smith marrying the 80-something year-old man for his money? One was legal, one was not.
Monday, March 01, 2004
Hug me
Sometimes I miss home. Yeah, sometimes I really miss "The Big Ill."
I was sitting through the sermon today at church and I started thinking about this feeling I've had for a while. It's just been sneaking up on me, this spot of bitter, draining cold you get from the hole in the middle of one of your favorite socks.
It hit me.
I haven't had a good hug in months. I honestly can't remember the last good, solid hug I've recieved. I know I joke around about it a lot, but I really am a huge fan of "the hug". I love how hugs just make you feel safe. Being that close to someone -and not having them scream "rape! or "pervert!", its nice, its peaceful. You feel loved and cared for.
One thing I think its safe to say about our campus is people are very "friendly". Someone you've met once (especially the ladies) find it completely okay to share a hug at the very next meeting. Its totally the norm. As a matter of fact, if you're not sharing hugs with people you at least "kinda know", you're the weird one.
But the hugs... they suck. I mean, there are a few good ones out there but I think they're largely the exception to the rule. Let's examine a few of the different "hug styles" out there:
#1. We have the "Barbie Hug". This is characterized by its stiff, arms-bent-at-ninety-degrees motions. The two participants barely touch and usually have a dream house with matching car.
#2. What Dr. Morman has dubbed the "Baylor Side-Hug". Its the one hug where you don't even face the person. Its mainly utilized people who are either afraid of touching or only have the use of one arm. (sorry to any one-armed people who might be offended by this.)
#3. Guys do the "Shake N' Hug". This move is usually a modified handshake where the two participants shake hands while throwing the free arm around each other, slightly bumping their shoulders. My collegue, Stephen Gulley, says guys might leave the handshake intact while completing the hug to protect from any possible "homophilic" overtures.
and many, many more...
Listen guys, I don't really care about who's hugging what and how. Its not so much about the hugs as it is about sincerity. If you're going to hug someone, do it right! Don't settle for "how everyone does it". Take a chance, and hold someone a little longer. Show them that you really care.
I always feel like a freak when I try to give someone a really good hug. If its a guy, they think I'm making a pass. If its a girl, they think I'm making a pass. And while I do often refer to hugs as "pervin' a feel", I'd honestly appreciate the benefit of a doubt. I'm dying for a good hug. A warm embrace.
I was sitting through the sermon today at church and I started thinking about this feeling I've had for a while. It's just been sneaking up on me, this spot of bitter, draining cold you get from the hole in the middle of one of your favorite socks.
It hit me.
I haven't had a good hug in months. I honestly can't remember the last good, solid hug I've recieved. I know I joke around about it a lot, but I really am a huge fan of "the hug". I love how hugs just make you feel safe. Being that close to someone -and not having them scream "rape! or "pervert!", its nice, its peaceful. You feel loved and cared for.
One thing I think its safe to say about our campus is people are very "friendly". Someone you've met once (especially the ladies) find it completely okay to share a hug at the very next meeting. Its totally the norm. As a matter of fact, if you're not sharing hugs with people you at least "kinda know", you're the weird one.
But the hugs... they suck. I mean, there are a few good ones out there but I think they're largely the exception to the rule. Let's examine a few of the different "hug styles" out there:
#1. We have the "Barbie Hug". This is characterized by its stiff, arms-bent-at-ninety-degrees motions. The two participants barely touch and usually have a dream house with matching car.
#2. What Dr. Morman has dubbed the "Baylor Side-Hug". Its the one hug where you don't even face the person. Its mainly utilized people who are either afraid of touching or only have the use of one arm. (sorry to any one-armed people who might be offended by this.)
#3. Guys do the "Shake N' Hug". This move is usually a modified handshake where the two participants shake hands while throwing the free arm around each other, slightly bumping their shoulders. My collegue, Stephen Gulley, says guys might leave the handshake intact while completing the hug to protect from any possible "homophilic" overtures.
and many, many more...
Listen guys, I don't really care about who's hugging what and how. Its not so much about the hugs as it is about sincerity. If you're going to hug someone, do it right! Don't settle for "how everyone does it". Take a chance, and hold someone a little longer. Show them that you really care.
I always feel like a freak when I try to give someone a really good hug. If its a guy, they think I'm making a pass. If its a girl, they think I'm making a pass. And while I do often refer to hugs as "pervin' a feel", I'd honestly appreciate the benefit of a doubt. I'm dying for a good hug. A warm embrace.
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