This concept of "Wuv" confuses and infuriates me!

I love the Conversational Candy Hearts. Yeah yeah yeah, the trite-ness of having sweet nothings and pop-phrases compiled into single letter abbreviations and mass-printed "catty-wompously" onto thousands of heart-shaped candies is intriguing to say the least. The possibilities for pondrance are endless! However, my love has more to do with their taste. I don't know what it is, but I love the taste. They're probably the coolest thing about Valentine's day.

They're kind of like Cadburry Egg's, Mallow Pumpkins and Candy Canes. They're sort of a seasonal delight. If they were around for the whole year, people would probably think they suck. But, since you can only get them for 2 or 3 months out of 12, they're a delicacy.

On Monday, I went over to Danielle's after class for a V-tine's day party/ Chocolate Fest. I sampled her wares: chocolate-dipped oranges and strawberries, chocolate bars, kisses, and, of course, chili. Delicious, Danielle, tasty to say the least. However, when I reached into the dish with the conversation hearts, eager for this year's first taste of that bonemeal-and-earwig honey -chalky goodness, I found that my lips, instead of curling into a smile, had squeezed and contracted into a pucker. These weren't sweet?! but Sour! I felt so let-down.

It was 3 o'clock on Monday before I realized what day it was. I saw people in their S.A.D. (singles awareness day) shirts, and heard friends complaining about their bad luck at being single upon a day like today. I heard people complaining about the "commercialism" of it all. How V-tine's day was invented by the Greeting Card companies. Perhaps.

But upon reflection, I'll give you my day.

I slept late. Did a little homework. Had a great class. Candy and friends at Danielle's. Then I went over and had my weekly face-time with two of the biggest Bad-Asses I know. Jack Bauer and Myles Werntz. I came slightly hungry and ready for this season's episode of of 24, and I left satiated, pumped for next week and with a plane ticket to El Paso in May. Southwest thanks you, Myles Werntz.

On the way home from the house of the big brother I never had, I began to wonder about what a nice, pleasant and quaint day I had just enjoyed. But as a single Tiger on the prowl, how could this be? Its game-day and I'm riding the pine.

I loved Valentine's day growing up because it was a chance to give everyone a Valentine; a chance to let everyone in my homeroom, as I dropped my ALF Valentines into the shoebox on the edge of their desk, know that I thought they made my life, time better spent. My dad takes flowers to the girls in his office. My mom sends me a little care package. I call my sisters and tell them I love them. How can such a day be bad?

Myles fried me some eggplant. I am loved.

But as for the commercialism? There is a bit. I, myself, have always liked Valentine's Day better when I was single. I hate being expected to do something simply because of a day. You can't force romance. And who wants a love like that anyway?

On my way home from Myles's, I drove in front of the Waco Tribune building just in time to see the night watch-man do his rounds outside. I saw him ambling along, awkwardly, his poor belt straining into his waist like a rubber-band on a water-balloon. "He's not very romantic", I thought. But he's like me, maybe. That's the kind of Love I want.

Who wants a Love like a muscle-ly armed Arnold Swartzenegger Green Beret protecting your heart? Arnold Swartzenegger is too high maintenance and not at all realistic. I want to love like an overweight security guard. Perhaps a little unwieldy and top-heavy at times. Maybe I'll spill a little spaghetti sauce on the front of my uniform and won't notice it. But I get the job done and you know I need the job as much as the job needs me. A little unromantic? At times. But, among all things, its true.

Like the candy hearts, its not always so much a matter of quality, as it is of taste.

PS, a special mix CD to the first person who can give me where I stole the title of this post from and their address!