Soul'd Out

In my line of work, if one walks into a large room to the sound of someone yelling: "HUMP IT!", you know the next 30 seconds is going to be interesting.

Still sweating from my late-night run circling campus, gallon of water in hand, shorts slightly sagging from the three sets of id's and keys I have to carry, I see a girl and a fella perched on a railing and smoking in the way only a kid with new-found status can.

I walk through doors and smell the faintly smokey scent of mingled sweat and aggression. I hear strangely syncapated grunts and yells and stroll through yet another set of doors to see a gym with about 50 people in dark red lined up standing on the bleachers chanting in unison to a fella gyrating in a a denim costume.

As people see me, wearing my white shirt decorated with some macho reference to the superiority of one sport to all others written in yellow and green, they smile and cheer and say things like "join us" and "we've been hoping you'd come" as they open a path for me into the middle -the heart- of their mob. I smoosh up between two of their "newer" members. The ringleaders, in their crude costumes, begin to gyrate once again, each theatric movement of their arms answered by a certain sound spewed from the crowd. I stand, awkward, not knowing what to do with my hands.

Every ounce of the Green and Gold flowing through my veins is screaming at me in the voice of William Jennings Bryant: "Isolationism! You have your allegiances!"

And then I remember the diatribe I let loose on a student (imagine that, me lecturing someone?) earlier in the day about sucking the marrow out of life. Finding meaning in every little thing you do. About how life is so short and precious and priceless. And if that the only universal that drives every person is purpose.

So I let go. I stopped trying to be an island of Baptist superiority in a heathen world and let myself enjoy a little dual-citizenship.

I sold out for a little soul.

Days later, I was still enjoying the conflict within me. Should I laugh at the person who just screamed "WHOOP!"? Or should I laugh with them?

For now, I refuse to choose and decide to be one with the wind. I do as I please thankyouverymuch.

My soul can have dual citizenship later. But for now, I'm gonna dip my toe in the water.

Look Ma, no hands.