Moshi-Moshi?

I think I'm a pretty darn laid-back person. I take joy in just going with the flow. In life, there are only so many things we really have any say in, so shouldn't the amount of worry we invest, correlate?

But those things I do sweat, truly do get to me. I'm not sure I can reconcile any of them. But I guess that doesn't stop them from existing.

#3. Phone etiquette. I cannot stand it when people are rude on the phone. Usually in life, we have many nonverbal ways to communicate and leave impressions upon people. However, when we're on the phone, we rely completely upon our words, tone and verbiage. That is why I so value what you do or don't say. I have had my sisters' suitors and friends (mine and my brother's) actually hang up and call me back.

Here's an example:

Ring Ring

Me: Hello?
Random Dude: Is Beth there?
M: excuse me?
R: um, is Beth there?
M: I heard you.
R: ... huh?.... wha?...
M:Well when you put it that way... Nevermind, who is this?
R:Um... Johnny.
M:AH! Hello, John. My name is Neil Golemo.
R:cool
M:Do you understand what just happened? That's what most people call an "INTRO-DUUUCTION". Yeah. They're nice.
R:cool. Beth there?
M:Okay ,(I sigh), John, this is how this will work. You're going to hang up, sit there by your phone with a bewildered look, think to yourself "what the heck just happened", and then you're going to call back. 9 in 10 chance that the phone will be picked up by yours truly. And you know what I'd like to hear from you?
R:um, my name?
M:Nice. Talk to you in a few, John.
R:Kay...

Ring Ring
M:Hello?
R:Um, Hi... This is... um... John, I'm a friend of Beth's.
M:Hello, John. I'm Neil, Elizabeth's gun-owning, older, brother. How may I help you?
R:Uh... um... yeah, would it be alright if I talked to Beth?
M:Oh, John, I'm sorry, she's at her friend's for the night. Would it be alright if I left her a message from you?
R:Uh, naw I'll just talk to her later...
(I'm usually choking in laughter from the awkwardness felt on one side of this conversation)
M:Well, I'll let her know you cared. Do you have a last name, John?
R:Yes
M:.... Nicely put, John. Okay, well its been a pleasure, John. I hope you have a nice day!
R:... uh yeah, you too.
M:God bless
CLICK

I think I just changed a life. You may think I'm torturing this kid. Yes, yes I am a little. But he's calling my sister, I guess I'm just preparing him for the long-run. In any case, how are you going to call a girl's house and be anything other than on your best behavior? tsk tsk. I did that fool a favor.

#2. People who talk on cell phones while you're with them. Barring emergencies, serious business or a returned call, I can see no real reason that this should be allowed. Its rude. Really rude. First of all, its an exclusive conversation. Its not exactly like when you're working out with a friend and an old friend of theirs walks up. This is a chance to meet another potential friend. I get to introduce myself and interact.

I've been to dinner with people and they have insisted upon having an extended, (and pointless, I might add), conversation with an old girlfriend/boyfriend while I get to sit and eat my food, look furtively around the room, wonder how many breadsticks I could wrap in a napkin and stick and still escape the restaurant with an acceptable amount of sneers from my fellow patrons...

To me, if someone calls, and you must pick it up, please, state the obvious, that you're with someone and ask when the best time to return their call is. Most of the time, I won't even pick up the phone. If you get a busy signal, its probably because I'm busy. Sorry.

Related to this pet peeve, are people whom I call when they're with people and they talk to me anyway. I don't want to be "that guy". I know for a fact how annoying this is. If you're going to be a jerk, I don't necessarily want to aid and abed.

#1. The number one Pet Peeve on my list is the sound of people eating. This includes, slurping soup from a spoon, slurping coke from a can, lip-smacking, stuffing your face so full you have to breath through your nose making it whistle (you get the idea). When I say this is my number one Pet Peeve, I mean it. I've literally punched my brother over this. Mostly because the little punk is doing it on purpose, but also largely because it so infuriates me.

I don't know what it is that so infuriates me. I really cannot trace its pathology. It just merely is.